Now I’m wondering to myself how I got here,

How it all came to this glorious beautiful mess,

Because that’s me,

All that beauty in different kind of ways.

But we already know what’s hidden don’t we?

I mean not exactly but you know the basic words: something ugly,

Because we all have something hidden within us these days.

More than ever.

But you see mine is a whole different ballgame.

I want to be loved in any way possible.

Because I believe love betters you. Makes you feel new and excited every day.

And I want to be in that feeling every second.

So guess what ?

I open up to many people but because we are ‘humans’

We take advantage of each other

But that does not stop me

I mean apart from the days I break down within myself every 5 minutes but I have to smile to hide it every single time

I still want to believe in that mesmerising feeling 

And each time I open up I’m being laughed at.

How does that make me feel?

They insult you, spit at you, but yet they want to ‘love you down’ behind closed doors

How disgusting!

But guess what? 

Because of what I believe I still go on

But I’m broken so deep down, you can’t even imagine.

I’m on a search for something that seems unreal.

They’ll never believe you because even sometimes you let it happen in the most absurd ways. And you don’t even know why anymore.

You’ve gotten so used to it now that you don’t even remember what it was you were searching for because it seems so far.

And this is what makes me a mess.

A beautiful glorified mess.

Connect with the writer: 

Twitter:  @fojjjj_

Instagram:  @hotfudgeee

Artwork by:  @Pish___Posh (twitter)